ET PHONE HOME
i'm going home in 2 weeks. i neeeeeed it so bad. i have more in my mouth than i can chew (not literally, in fact i stopped eating, or tried to, or something) but figuratively. besides waking up early, walking (my back is fucked), maybe a little tingling in my throat that makes me think i'm getting sick, and being too tired to go out almost all the time, i think im ok. hopes that ill get myself to this museum of the moving image this weekend, i want to see the seinfeld set. i won't be able to make it to hfstival and see the crows as i would have wished, but what can i say, im a young little girl stuck in an old man's body. or woman's. which ever one has more back problems. little seth cohen goin on right here. dead like me season 2 is on the way and hoop dreams is here! im going to go get some shut eye before i wake up and champion my way through a physics exam at 9am. yes, champion is a verb if i want it to be.

as i opened up blogger to write this blog, i saw the title of my blog "i love my life" and i do, i do love my life, but sometimes i freak out.
i freak out and think that no matter how hard i try everything i do is inevitably mediocre, like nothing i do will ever be able to carry me anywhere. i don't think i'll ever be able to make any money or live my own life but i don't ever want to be that one little girl who hides behind another's income, whether its my dad or my husband or my babys daddy. you know.
AHHHHHHHHHH