As you may or may not know, I recently packed up my Lower East Side shoebox and moved to the part of Brooklyn we know as Williamsburg. As you also may or may not know Williamsburg is home to plenty of hipsters who pay just a tad less rent than those in the lower east side, which means they have a little more money with which to purchase more and more extravagant things. In effect, Williamsburg is home to an arms race of ironic shit. In my travels each morning on the L train to Manhattan I bear witness to this parade of retards and now you will too.

Maybe one day I'll even grow the balls to take pictures of these people instead of just immortalizing them in words.

The winner of today's parade of retards was a young girl, who must have been about 25, wearing parachute pants (that were literally fluorescent) and a polar bear. Also on her feet were a pair of white, worn down vintage asics. I say she was wearing a polar bear because her coat may very well have been the hide of one. It hung over her shoulders like a halloween costume fashioned out of a cardboard box and went all the way down to her knees.


congratulations to this woman for wearing the most unflattering and hideously entertaining outfit that I saw all day.